A twitter user asks
I get the rallying against the “DADT” policy, but is it really that difficult to keep your sexual orientation to yourself in the military?
Yes, it is difficult to serve in silence. Just as it is difficult for most heterosexuals not to be figured out as being heterosexual. In your day to day life, when you are having free conversation you may talk about what you did that weekend or who you saw or dated. You will talk about things that may be on your mind.
When at war, heterosexual males talk about missing their girlfriends, wives and kids. This kind of talk is normal, natural and healthy.
Think about one heterosexual person that you know and in any given day, think about all the ways that they project their heterosexuality. Now, think about what it would be like if a heterosexual had to hide every single one of those telegraphic items that make you realize that they are heterosexual.
They wouldn’t be able to talk about their wives, girlfriends or children. If asked what they did that weekend they would have to talk in the first person singular at all times so as not to be asked “what do you mean by we”. They wouldn’t be allowed to talk about health issues that their wife may be having and in which case, wouldn’t be able to take part in FMLA should their wife fall ill. They wouldn’t be allowed to take off of work if their child ever got sick.
All of these things and so much more is what we deal with because of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell law. Not to mention, we don’t even have the other benefits that go along with being a heterosexual in the service.
When a heterosexual is wounded or dies in battle, their wife is taken care of in many ways. If I were to die in battle, my significant other (who’m I’ve been with for the last 7 years) would not even get a phone call or a knock on the door to let him know that I had died.
I hope that this answers your question, at least in part.